What’s your Filipino fix?
September 6th, 2008
I’m missing the Philippines at the moment. It’s not as bad as before. When I’m homesick like I am now, I listen to songs from my CD collection of Filipino artists. At the moment, I’m listening to Sharon Cuneta (eeeppp!).
My other Filipino fix includes emailing my Filipino friends and family, chatting with them or eating pinoy chichirya like Chippy and V-Cut (if they’re available from the Asian store).
Or I go online to visit www.pep.ph or listen to DZBB.
Argghhh. I don’t know how to get rid of the blues. I think there’s a point that you get tired of being a foreigner in a foreign land.
Don’t get me wrong. I love being in New Zealand. I love that it’s traffic & pollution free and that the crime rate is one of the lowest in the world. I love that even as foreigner, I am given opportunities career-wise that I never have to feel like a second-class citizen.
But I hate not having any sense of history in this country. I hate not bumping into friends I went to school with. I hate not being able to wear summer clothes all year long.
I hate not being able to see my parents at a drop of a hat. When I’m feeling bad or worried or scared, I like going to my parents’ house and sleeping in the bed I grew up in and my parents cooking my favourite dishes. I like being treated like a child when I’m in my parents’ home. It sometimes gets tiring being an adult, it gets tired having to be practical and responsible all the time.
The other day, I woke up crying because the dream (or nightmare) was so vivid. In my dream, my mother died. I couldn’t breathe in my dream. I remember hugging my mother tightly and asking her not to die. I will miss her so much. Please don’t die. It hurts that I can’t just jump into my car and drive to my parents’ place to see if she’s there.
I hate, I hate…perhaps it’s such a strong word. Hate is not what I feel but I don’t know how else I could express what I am feeling at the moment. Because there are so many things to love about NZ as well. And I know that if I leave NZ for good, I will miss it too just like the time I missed it when I was in Manila for 2 weeks in June.
For those living outside the Philippines…do you feel the same way I do? Is it me who’s like this? Can you tell me that you’re perfectly happy where you are and you don’t wish to go back to the Philippines if you could?
How do you fix the homesickness? How do you fix the loneliness?





















